HELP!! I can't bake!

It all started so well.
I went to the store to find a cake mix to bake a cake for my dear friend, Melissa's birthday. But I had limited funds and so was looking for a mix that you would only need to add water to (eggs, oil, etc. are a rare commodity when you're in college). So my only choice was a fat free brownie mix (and we all know that things with fat are infinitely better than without). :)
When I went to make this brownie-birthday "cake" the batter turned out more like molasses, so I added some extra water and chopped up some chocolate to add to the mix. Then, I didn't have the right sized pan, so when it baked, it was like a lump in the middle with burnt edges. and that wasn't even so bad as when I started trying to write happy birthday on it with icing that came out in gluey blobs. So I decided to spread the icing as frosting; that idea turned out not so incredibly, as you can imagine. In the end, I made it look...well, perhaps presentible is a bit too kind, but Melissa was thankful and I didn't make her eat one in front of me. (Let's hope she'll still be friends with me tomorrow!) Better luck next time, I hope!